


A Very Dick Christmas

by Irma66



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, holiday fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 01:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17132888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irma66/pseuds/Irma66
Summary: Dick and Logan's plans for Christmas in Aspen are derailed by a chance meeting in the Food Court.





	A Very Dick Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty loose use of prompt 13. What does Dick do on Christmas? and 30. Logan finally gets to enjoy a Christmas during S3! He gets to spend the holidays with Veronica and not be alone like during S1 and S2. Veronica has to spend Christmas with him and they end up having a really great time.

"Okay, thirty minutes, no more."

"An hour?" Logan counters in a wheedling voice. "I swear, I'll make it up to you; we'll spend the rest of the night wherever you want, do whatever you want to do, but I can't just flake out on Dick completely. He'd be in Aspen right now, but he stayed in town so I wouldn't be alone. I can't just blow his party off."

He ducks his head to nibble across her collar bone, then rolls onto his back, pulling her on top of him in the tiny space of her twin bed.

"But you're not alone," Veronica says, feeling breathless. It had been a few weeks since Logan broke up with her—a few hard, lonely weeks—and the make-up make-out had been intense, even with the negotiation over Dick's Christmas Party going on throughout. "At least you’re not anymore.”

“It’s been what, six hours, Veronica? Not that I’m not thrilled...”

_It had taken only one accidental encounter and Veronica hadn’t been able to block out how much she missed him anymore. He’d been cautiously friendly when they bumped into each other in the Food Court, but when he reached out to touch her, and then pulled away, she knew she wasn’t the only one still feeling the pain of their breakup. On the spur of the moment, she’d invited him along while she did some reconnaissance on a case, and things had been progressing nicely in the hours since then._

“Are you planning to dump me again, Logan? Or, I guess maybe the better question is, are we even back together?”

His head thumps against her pillow, arm crossed over his eyes. “I didn’t dump you. Not like you mean. I just thought it would be easier for you if I just cleared out of your life."

She catches his chin in her hand and tugs downward, so he can see her. "You thought wrong. And I'm sorry for what I did to make you feel like that."

His eyes search her face, soft and questioning, and she fights to keep from looking away, knowing he needs to see that she means what she says, no matter how vulnerable it makes her feel. She slides her hand up to cup his cheek, and that breaks the spell; he smiles and surges forward, catching her mouth with his.

When they finally break apart again, both breathing heavily, they're side-by-side, pressed tightly together, Veronica's leg hitched over Logan's hip. He smiles down at her and smooths her hair behind her ear.

"So, yeah, this feels back together."

Laughter bursts out of her, and she ducks her head against his chest. "It does."

"I'm glad we agree."  He rolls onto his back again and she nestles into his side, her leg still wrapped around his and her arm crossed over his chest.

"Okay, so back to what we're doing next...you said Dick had been planning to go to Aspen? He still can. Sending him off to Aspen sounds like a great idea.  Maybe we can take that hour you're suggesting tonight and give him a ride to the airport.” Her finger traces the design on his shirt. "So, you and I are going to spend this holiday together, right? And honestly, the farther he is away, the better off we'll be. Wouldn't you like to have the whole suite to ourselves?

Her hand drifts downwards toward his belt, ready to give him a sneak peek of what time alone could look like.

Logan groans and slaps his hand over hers, pinning it against his stomach. "Veronica, stop."

“Are you sure?” she teases, raising her eyebrows and widening her eyes as she stretches up to kiss him. Their lips brush together again and her hand trails down again, when a voice suddenly booms from the living room.

“Veronica? Are you here?”

“Oh shit, Dad.” She rolls out of Logan's embrace, on her feet beside the bed immediately, panic rising in her.  "Sit up. Look...unaroused. We're...umm...studying."

"Studying what? I've taken all my finals already."

She spins in a circle, grabbing a book from her desk and hurling it at him. "I don't know. Just..."

"It's cool. Go see him." He sits up and turns to plant his feet on the floor, smiling at her.  "But first..."

He rises, grabs her by the arms and presses a firm kiss to her forehead, as he buttons a gap in her shirt.  "There, that's better. Now, just relax. We didn’t do anything yet, not really. Stop acting guilty."

She looks down to ensure nothing else is amiss with her clothing, then gives him the same once-over, before drawing in a deep breath.

"Okay, thanks." She nods, smiles, then steps away toward her door. “I'll be right back."

She enters the living room cautiously. Keith Mars stands at the kitchen island, looking through the last couple days of mail. "Dad, what are you doing here? I thought you were still in Arizona.”

"Caught up to my guy sooner than expected." He turns and reaches an arm out for a hug. "How are things here? Finals done?”

“Pretty much. One more, day after tomorrow but it’ll be a breeze.”

He nods, then gives her an excited grin. “So, just got a decent payout...Mars Investigations is rolling in the dough. Interested in dinner?”

“Oh! Umm... I really hadn’t expected y—“

“Sure. I am ahead of schedule.” His smile turns more gentle. “If you already have plans it’s not a problem."

"Umm, yeah, well, actually, I do. Dick's having an end-of-semester Christmas party—"

"Dick? Casablancas?" His eyebrows furrow, matching his frown. "Why does that matter to you?"

"Umm, well..."

Her dad nods, looking resigned. "Back with Logan again?"

She looks at her feet, wishing the floor would open under her. "Yeah."

He nods again. "Okay." He squeezes her shoulders, then turns back to the mail. "Make sure he's here for Christmas Eve Dinner."

"What?"

Keith glances back at her.  "Logan, not Dick. And Christmas Day is okay too, but Christmas Eve is our family night. If you're gonna keep getting back with him, he needs to see what that means."

"What?" she repeats. "What do _you_ mean?"

"The usual. Presents, Christmas movies, the tiny birds. A Mars Family Christmas. If he can't take the pomp and circumstance of it all, we need to know now."

Veronica takes a step back, shaking her head. "I don't think so. I'm sure he has plans already. We can't force him into our little traditions."

"Sure you can," Logan says, coming up behind her and resting his hand against her back. "Sounds fun. I appreciate the invitation, Mr. Mars."

"Logan." Keith's voice is surprised. "I didn't realize you were here."

"Just hanging out for a while before we head for Dick's party. I hope you don't mind, Veronica was going to stay over and help me police the celebrations. Some of Dick's fraternity brothers party a little harder than I'd like, and I don't really trust Dick to make sure they don't trash the place. If that's a problem though, I can make sure she gets a cab home or something like that. Whenever you say."

Her dad frowns in confusion, and Logan's smile somehow gets wider. "Can't say I've ever thought of you as the one enforcing order."

"Probably not," Logan agrees, "but we all have to grow up sometime."

"Unless you're Dick," Veronica interjects, and both men laugh.

"Give him some time," Keith says. "Maybe he'll surprise you."

"Not holding my breath," Veronica replies and Logan chuckles as he nods at her.

"Probably wise." He looks back up at her dad. "So, we should probably get going over to the Grand. Should I plan to get Veronica back tonight?"

Veronica bristles for a moment, ready to argue that she’s an adult and gets to decide where she spends the night, but Keith is already shaking his head.

"No, it's fine. We can't have the Deltas trashing your suite. Knowing my daughter, she'll probably be pretty good at keeping those guys in line."

She blinks, caught off guard again.

"Okay, then, we'll get on our way. And thanks again for the invitation to Christmas Eve. I'm looking forward to it." He reaches forward, extending a hand to Keith, who grasps it with only a slight hesitation.

“Should be interesting,” Keith says, and Veronica cringes.

“Hopefully not too,” she replies and ducks down the hall for her bag.

* * *

 The party’s already in full swing when they arrive, at least that’s how it sounds from the hallway.

“He really is gonna get us kicked out of here at this rate,” Logan grumbles as he fishes his keycard out of his pocket.

“Yeah, it’s quarter to Eight and you can hear the party as soon as the elevator doors open. What’s it gonna be like at Ten?”

“They’re gonna be partying in the elevator by then,” Logan says and Veronica laughs, snaking an arm around his waist.

“But we’re policing, so that won’t be happening, right?”

“Oh hell no.” Logan snorts derisively. “We agreed that we’d stay at this party for a half hour, hour tops. That other bit was to give your dad a rationale for why you were staying with me. He knows the real reason, but he doesn’t want to think about that, so this gives him an out.”

Veronica’s cheeks burn. “He knows the real reason?”

Logan strokes a finger down her hot cheek. “Of course he does. Anyone who looks at me looking at you knows the real reason. But your father doesn’t want to think about us like that—“

“I don’t want him to either...”

“—so instead I gave him another viable excuse. The truth is, it won’t be the end of the world if they finally kick us out. I could be renting a whole house for what I spend here.”

“But we can’t stay at my place with Dad there,” Veronica says. “So unless you’ve got ear plugs in your room, we are gonna want them to keep the noise to a dull roar.”

Logan turns her to face him, bending his knees to catch her mouth with his. She’s wrapped her arms around his neck and is ready to climb him when he pulls back.

“Wait. We’re not going back out in half an hour?”

“Why?” Veronica asks. “There’s a lock on your bedroom door, right?”

Logan’s grin is quick and wide as he scoops her up, then spins them down the hall, landing long, drugging kisses on her mouth and down her neck. She’s pressed against the wall, her legs locked around his hips when he pulls away again.

“You know, all this noise could be useful.” He grinds against her. “Covers you screaming my name.”

She tightens her legs around him and feels a swooping sensation in her belly as the promise of what’s to come hits her just right, but she manages to hold back the moan in favor of snark.

“Are you going to make me mad?” she teases, flattening her hand against his neck to pull his mouth back to hers, but he presses his forehead to hers instead.

“Nope. Very, very happy.”

"Oh. Okay." She's looking forward to what he's offering, then he ducks his head to kiss down her neck and her head rocks back as she lets the sensation of being with him again wash over her. She's wondering how she's going to make it all the way through the suite without jumping him in front of everyone, but a shriek from inside the suite makes him jerk upright.

"All right. Let's brave the crazies." He kisses her temple and turns her to face the room, putting his arm around her as they make their way to the suite.

In spite of all the noise, it turns out that the soundproofing actually works pretty well, because when Logan beeps the door open, the volume of the party increases dramatically.

"I probably will be able to scream your name without anyone noticing," Veronica shouts in Logan's ear, and he grins and waggles his eyebrows at her.

"This theory warrants exploration."

"LOGAN!" What comes out of Dick can only be described as a bellow and Veronica cringes a little, but she can feel more than hear Logan's laugh as his arm tightens around her.

"Dude, it's about time you got here. And Ronnie, wow, this is a surprise...great to see you. Didn’t know you came 'round here anymore." Veronica laughs at his tone; it’s clear he prefers her absence.

"Oh hey, it's great to see you too, Dick," she says, matching his sarcasm with a gleeful smile. "It's been too long."

"Yes, it has," Logan interjects, looking sternly between them both before fixing his gaze on Dick. "Play nice. Veronica's welcome here whenever she wants to be here. Which hopefully will be often." He turns toward Veronica, a much softer look on his face. "Okay?"

She smiles back, unable to resist him. "Okay."

"Great," Dick says, but he's inconsequential as Logan puts his arms around her and somehow everything else falls away.

* * *

They've been at the party for more than an hour already, but most of it's been locked up alone in his bedroom, the sounds of the celebration in the rest of the suite mostly a dull roar in the distance. Biggest surprise...they've actually been talking, not having sex. Well, okay, not only having sex, but it's been weeks since the last time, so what did he expect?  It hadn't been far off from happening in Veronica's little twin bed when her dad had shown up. At least he'd arrived before they actually started, and the king bed at the Grand had made for a much livelier reunion anyway, but even with more room to...spread out...they'd still mostly been catching up on what had been happening in each other's lives in the time that they were apart.

He notices definite dancing around the events of the night that Mercer and Moe were arrested. It was apparent that she does not want to give him the play-by-play of her assault, and he supposes he can't really blame her, especially once he discovers that she somehow knows about his brief stint of incarceration after Mercer was arrested. He's not surprised by the scolding he gets for that, but it's also obvious that she's appreciative of what he'd done, and truthfully, that conversation is what leads into the sex. Again, why would he expect anything different? He knows his girl, and one thing that Veronica reliably responds to is punches thrown on her behalf.  

The snuggly aftermath is when he learns that Veronica is actually sad about the Dean's death, probably the only student on campus who can claim that dubious distinction. Logan hadn't really had any direct contact with the Dean; most of his knowledge of the man came from when he'd blackmailed Veronica at the start of the school year into helping him to avoid being kicked out of Hearst.  That didn't seem to really lend itself to a warm relationship, but Veronica had had a lot of things going on back then that she kept to herself, and apparently the Dean had redeemed himself somehow.

The snuggling is starting to heat up again when a loud crash breaks in from the front room. Logan flops back against the pillows, rolling his eyes, as Veronica bolts upright.

"What the hell is going on out there?"

"Party a la Dick." He wraps an arm around her middle and tries to tug her back, but she resists, glancing at him over her shoulder.

"Should we check on that?"

He shrugs. "We can, but whatever got knocked over is still going to be broken."

"But what about all the unbroken stuff? We need to get those assholes in line before they do actually trash the place."

He chuckles and sits up, dropping a kiss on her shoulder. "Okay, if you want. Maybe while we’re out there we can check on what Dick's feeding these people too.  I know you're a pretty big fan of the room service menu. It's either that, or he brought in a few bags of chips. Mighta had pizza delivered."

"All of that works," she responds, turning to smile up at him. "A little sustenance would be good. I think it's gonna be a long night."

* * *

The crash turns out to have been from a beer bottle pyramid.  The glass seems to have already been kicked into a pile and one surviving bottle is stuck in it, upright but upside down, next to the coffee table. Veronica makes a mental note not to walk out of Logan's bedroom without her shoes on, and to not end up naked on that table; it’s not like that had never happened before. She grins at the memory, and resolves to convince Dick that Aspen is calling his name. And to get housekeeping in sooner rather than later.

“Should I ask what that look’s about?” Logan asks and she flutters her eyelashes at him beguilingly, but when he leans down for a kiss, she bites his lower lip.

“Maybe later.”

A quick look around shows that more guests had arrived since they'd been in Logan's room: lots of Pi Sigs, some Theta Betas she recognizes, and a ton of other complete strangers, mostly dressed in hideous Christmas sweaters and drunk off their asses. She tugs Logan close again and shouts in his ear.

"Great party you're throwing, buddy."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. "You know this isn't my party."

"Your room, your party."

He shakes his head and pushes into the crowd, pulling her along behind him as they head for the dining table.  Partway there, an overly friendly girl stops right in front of them and yells, "Logan!" as she rests her hand on his chest. Veronica snugs up tight behind him and wraps one possessive arm around his middle as she glares balefully at the interloper. She's gratified when Logan flicks the girl's hand away and reaches back to put his arm around her, pulling her into his side.

"Umm, happy holidays," he says to the other girl, then re-directs them around her, still heading for the food.

"Friend of yours?" Veronica asks, eyebrows raised speculatively.

"Nope."

"Knows your name."

"Who doesn't?" He stops in front of the table and waves a hand at the spread before grabbing a plate. "Not exactly _haute cuisine_. Anything look good to you?"

She shrugs. "Some pizza, I guess. Everything else looks awfully picked over."

Logan drops several pieces of pizza onto the plate. "Anything else?"

Veronica looks again, shaking her head at Dick's pathetic party planning, then stops short at what she sees on the shelf the table is pushed up against. "What is that?"

He follows her eyes, then groans as his head falls forward. "Shit. I told him not to do that."

Veronica leans in to get a closer look. At first glance, it looks like your average Christmas decoration, a little tableau with a Santa figure, or maybe an Elf on the Shelf, in the center. It's only on closer inspection that the figure in the red suit and hat with a couple of plastic reindeer and a tiny tree beside it turns out to not look as much like the jolly old elf as originally thought.

"Logan, that's a dildo dressed in a Santa outfit."

"Yes, it is."

"Logan, there's a purple dildo dressed in a Santa outfit on that shelf." She can hear the note of hysteria in her voice and tries to calm herself. This was Dick's party. What did she expect?

"He saw it online, thought it was funny. I told him it was a bad idea."

"And yet, there it is." At her droll tone, Logan starts to laugh.

"Yes. There it is." He grabs her arm and turns her back toward his bedroom. "Don't look at it and you can pretend it was a hallucination."

"Pretty sure I can't do that. I am never going to be able to look at Santa Claus again without seeing a purple vibrator." She nods. "Yep, it's official. Dick has ruined Santa for me."

"No no no." He plants his free hand in the small of her back and pushes her forward. "No, I refuse to accept that. I'll take you to every Santa Claus in the greater Neptune area between now and Christmas Eve and you'll forget all about that...umm...thing."

She shakes her head again, but lets him propel her back toward the bedroom. They've nearly escaped back to their sanctuary when the roommate of questionable decorating taste steps in front of them.

"So you guys decided to come up for air already, huh? And pizza?" Dick grabs a slice of pizza from Logan's plate and takes a bite, then drops the rest back on the plate. "Having fun at my holiday _soirée_ , Ronnie?"

"Dick, didn't I tell you that Santa Dildo was a bad idea?" Logan interrupts.

"Hey, dude, you are absolutely in the minority on that opinion. Everyone else thinks he's awesome. He's gonna be the grand prize in the ugly sweater contest. And hey, thanks for reminding me." Dick turns to the crowd and shouts, "All you chicks in the ugly Christmas sweater contest, let's see ya, front and center." His gaze flicks over Veronica. "Didn't your date tell you there was a contest?"

"No, he did not," Veronica says, "but that's fine. I really don't want to win your prize."

"I got some Java gift cards too," he says, sounding indignant at the slight to his party-planning skills. "That's just the grand prize. Need more than one prize if you want people to go all out."

His theory was apparently sound, because several girls, and Chip Diller, had gathered in the open space near the television.

"Diller, I told you, you're not in this." Veronica chokes back a disgusted laugh at Chip's sweater, more like a sweatshirt actually, with a message that appeared to be spray-painted across it. It reads, "Jingle My Bells", and a pair of bells are affixed to the front, hanging directly over his groin.

"I spent time on this, Casablancas," Chip protests. "You never said the contest was only for the chicks."

"Well, it is, so sit your ass down." Dick moves away from Logan and Veronica toward the contestants. "Whaddaya want with Santa Dildo anyway, dude?” He laughs at his own innuendo, but then focuses on the girls.

“Okay, I totally see some winners here." He pulls one girl from the crowd and turns toward the audience. "I think you all know Joy."

"Oh, you have to be kidding me," Veronica says, leaning into Logan. The girl is wearing a white sweater with gold ornaments and garland sewn onto the bottom half. Above that, her message was, "Feel the Joy", and above that was the _pièce de résistance,_ a large pair of gloves covering her breasts.

"I hope you've all had a chance to take her up on her offer," Dick says, reaching for one of the gloves, but Joy slaps his hand.

"It's a joke, dipshit," she says scornfully, and the entire room bursts into laughter, Veronica included.

"You need to take a Marketing class," Dick retorts. "Truth in advertising; it's a thing."

"He didn't learn that at home," Logan murmurs in Veronica's ear and she laughs again as she takes advantage of the distraction to move toward Logan's room.

Dick turns back to the group, pulling another couple of girls forward as he encourages the crowd to cheer for their favorites. There are only a few girls still clustered together, and Veronica is about to open the door to Logan's room when Dick stops his, 'cheer for your fave' spiel and looks back at the audience, a lewd grin on his face.

"Okay, I know this was supposed to be an ugly sweater contest, and this definitely ain't ugly, but I gotta say, I'm pretty sure this one's gonna be the winner." He spins back to the remaining contestants. "I'm pretty sure you've all seen Tawny already tonight. She's pretty eye-catching."

The target of his attention steps out of the group and Veronica gasps. She hadn't seen Tawny in the limited time they'd been with the rest of the partygoers and it's very apparent what Dick is talking about. The sweater is red with what looks like foam Christmas shapes randomly attached, but that isn't the central focus. That honor goes to what isn't there. A large circular hole is cut out of the front of the sweater, exposing the girl's breast. A cap of sparkly red faux fur covers her nipple with googly eyes glued above.  Green garland circles the edge of the cut-out and pipe cleaner antlers are glued above.

"Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reinboob," Dick shouts. "Looks like a winner to me."

Veronica looks up at Logan, who is shaking his head and chuckling. He kisses the top of Veronica's head and pulls her back with him into his room. "Pretty sure we've had enough party for one night," he says as he closes and locks the door behind them.

"I'm not even sure what to say after that." Veronica flops back onto the bed. "I don't think I'm cut out for a Very Dick Christmas."

A laugh explodes out of Logan. "Very few people really are."

"I don't know about that. Everyone in that room is as into that display as he is. I just can't believe that girl would walk around all night like that."

"Eh, it wasn't a lot different than a skimpy bikini." He puts the plate of pizza down on the dresser and lays down beside her. "You don't think Lilly would have gone to a college party in that outfit?"

Veronica snickers and nods. "Actually, yeah, she probably would have."

"And she would be trying to get you to wear the same thing." He bobs his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"She would _not_ have succeeded."

"I know." He rolls onto his side and catches her hand, threading their fingers together and resting them on her stomach. "Which is fine with me. If you're going to have Reinboobs, I'm happier when I'm the only one getting to see them." He inches their hands farther up her torso and stretches a single finger out to stroke along the lower half of her breast.

"Is that so?" She shifts their hands further up until his finger run across her nipple, making her shudder. He grins down at her and does it again, then starts to trace circles around the hardening nub.

"It is definitely so." He pinches gently. "You haven't been overly traumatized by the events of the evening, I hope."

"Well, it is true that I'm perfectly able to go the rest of my life without ever seeing another purple dildo dressed like Santa."

"Yeah, same." He untangles their fingers and slips his hand up her tee shirt. "The red fur pasties though. Maybe matching panties. I could deal with that." His head dips down to kiss her neck.

"Maybe I'll have to look Tawny up, see where she shops." She sits up suddenly, pulling her tee shirt over her head before resting her fingers against the front clasp of her bra. "Think you'll be okay without the faux fur tonight?"

Logan pushes her back again and covers her fingers with his own. "More than okay."

**Author's Note:**

> If this were a Friends episode, it would be titled "The One with Santa Dildo". And truthfully, a Facebook post of a purple dildo dressed as Santa was the primary prompt to this story. And those sweaters...saw all of them too. Christmas can be a scary time. ;)


End file.
